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[fibrillate]

⚡ Levirage ⚡

28, they/them. 🖤🤍💚🤍🖤

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[tracedfeelings]

[ enna thinks back to the arc of lightning levi had shot at lipsticki during their first meeting. she'd assumed that and their eye all came with being a metahuman. prizes from the genetic lottery they'd won at birth.

but then again, no one gets anything for free. especially when it seems to good to be true. ]

...then i understand why you don't want to tell her anything
but you HAVE to take of yourself so that way you get the chance
someone in jigoku has to know how to help with your electricity

[fibrillate]

I'm seeing a doctor, Ena. I promise I am.
Remember the concert? I had a heart monitor on me underneath my clothes for that whole night.
Dr. Heng has me on medication that's usually been enough to help me stay stable, but I'm still... afraid to take too many risks. Because what if something goes wrong and I end up hurting myself? Or her?

Even though I know that being with her is something that will make me happy.
Even though I want it.
Even though I want her.

[tracedfeelings]

well what if something happens
you're not going to let ursula choose if she's okay with that? or if she wants to be happy
because what if the choice that she makes is that she wants you like you want her
and if you don't let her choose it's like........

like looking at a blank canvas and wanting to fill it up with something
anything
but not drawing at all because you're afraid one little thing will look wrong

[ that you'll find out you were destined to be a failure. that no one will look at you. that you may as well let yourself rot from the inside out, alone and apparently unwanted. ]

ursula doesn't deserve that
and neither do you

[fibrillate]

[it takes leviathan some time to respond to getting spoken to like this. to be seen through by someone half their age. ena is a good friend, they think, in the middle of everything else.]

So I should just tell her that I regret not being the one to take her home that night.
And whatever happens after that will be what happens.

Is that what you're saying?

[tracedfeelings]

yeah
that's exactly what i'm saying

[fibrillate]

Then that's exactly what I'll do.
I'll do this, and I'll try not to be afraid of the consequences.
Because I already know what this will look like if I don't do anything.

But the only way to know what happens next is to make something happen.

[they look at their phone, at their own words. they've said things like this before, but somehow, with whatever emotion it is that leviathan is feeling, they had forgotten the truth of things.]

Thank you, Ena.
I can report back with how it goes, if you'd like.

[tracedfeelings]

[ there are so few times when ena feels like she's made a difference for the better. usually, she ends up making an already bad situation worse with sharp words and sharper tone. yet, levi sounds resolute. grateful.

perhaps this joyous, weightless feeling radiating through her chest is why kanade works so tirelessly to save others. ]

you're welcome levi
i know you can do it
and you don't have to tell me what happens if you don't want to




butttttttttttt
if you want to then yesssssssssss spill the tea

[fibrillate]

Oh, Enanan.
No matter which way this goes, you'll be the first person I tell.

[tracedfeelings]

(⌒▽⌒)☆